Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    Sign on the Dotted Line, Please!

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    Zurg
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    Sign on the Dotted Line, Please!

    Post by Zurg on Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:19 pm

    "THIS is where we shall fight!"

    A grub watched its evil master stake a cute, purple flag with a little Z on the body and it tilted its head quizzically. "Fight who, your Evilness?" It squeaked.

    "Who? My stinky little grub?" Its master's shadow fell upon it, the grub shivering. "Who else, you buffoon!? Metroman! You know, the man with the raging biceps that only performance enhancing drugs can make."

    "M-Metroman?" The minion shielded its head, peeking through its trembling arms.

    "Yes! METROMAN! AHAHAHAHA! PREPARE THE TRAP!"

    The Evil Emperor Zurg watched as his robotic fodder began to assemble his ingeniously evil trap. It was none other than a fiendishly clever explosive device strapped--get this--to the ORPHANAGE! AHAHAHA! Isn't that just wicked~? And that wasn't all! Since bombs were just sooo lackluster in his line of villainy, Zurg had upped the stakes to even greater proportions! While the bomb was attached to the orphanage it could only be activated once a pressure plate was disturbed. And guess who was on that pressure plate?

    "Oh, Kev~! How are you doing, my boy~?" Zurg sang into an intercom.

    Several--and I do mean several--miles away was Kev, the skinny, noodly green alien kidnapped and used as a hostage in Zurg's nefarious affairs. He was standing on the aforementioned pressure plate and if he stepped off, the orphanage would go BOOM! He was also in a cute little costume to add more to the setting. The alien was also surrounded by an army of Zurg's killer robots along with cannons, trip mines, and who knows what else.

    But wait, there was more!

    If Metroman instead saved the orphanage filled with children, then Kev would be the one to die! For, you see, once the kids were entirely cleared out of the way the guns trained onto Kev would blast him to smithereens and his entrails would paint the landscape a pretty dark green! Ohohoho! So wicked!

    "Hm, now that we're set I'm going to wait! BRING OUT MY EVIL LAWN CHAIR OF EVIL!" He barked.

    And, sure enough, his evil lawn chair of evil was brought out and Zurg sat his royal, purple pain in the butt and waited, looking at the time constantly.

    "Any minute, now..."
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    Kev
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    Re: Sign on the Dotted Line, Please!

    Post by Kev on Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:27 pm

    And yes, several miles away, Kev was on that pressure plate, in an admittedly beautiful pink dress. Yes, this was what he had in mind when Zurg said he wanted to hang out, being in a dress, on a plate, with TONS of dangerous stuff around him. Oh what...fun.

    He crossed his arms as he pouted as much as a mouthless alien can. "Zuuuurg! I thought we were going to do gardening stuff! I don't even know what's going on, OR how you managed to get me like this! You better not have undressed me! Jo will get jealous!" He said, knowing full well that he MIGHT be toeing a dangerous line there. But hey, Zurg lied! Gardening his bruuka, this wasn't gardening at all! It was stuff..and..things...what was going on anyways?

    "What's going on again?"
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    Re: Sign on the Dotted Line, Please!

    Post by Zurg on Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:30 pm

    "Oh, Kev, you tease~!" Zurg called out on his personal communicator, his voice speaking out to Kev's area miles and miles away. "Did you really think I was going to invite you to a gardening session? Puh-lease! I'm an Evil Emperor! There is EVIL in my name! You don't trust someone like that... Oh, how is the dress?" He randomly asked, having himself a sip of some drink while a grub fanned him.
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    Re: Sign on the Dotted Line, Please!

    Post by Kev on Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:35 pm

    "Well you SEEMED very serious about it...you even started giving me tips in the Sanctuary! And we never met together to talk about gardening so YEAH, I thought we were gonna garden!" he huffed, before blinking a bit at the random question. He gave the intercom a sideways glance before swiveling his hips a bit.

    "I actually like it! Not the goofy hat thing, but the actual dress, nice, yet demeaning! Good choice." he laughed, before eyeing the robots and other various dangerous stuff. Tulsit, he almost forgot that he was a hostage. "So Zurg...is there any REASON why you chose to kidnap me? I mean, did I make one too many jokes? Cause I promise, I'll shut up! No more things about you and Jo coming out of this mouthless alien, no sir!" Kev offered, hoping to apologize his way out of.....whatever this was.
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    Re: Sign on the Dotted Line, Please!

    Post by Zurg on Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:38 pm

    "I'm not saying a thing, Kev~!" Zurg said in sing-song. "If I do that, I'll be gloating and that's how I always lost to Lightyear! Nope~! Not saying a thing~!" Of course, his lip quivered, and the Evil Emperor was just itching to blab. He quickly yanked the communicator back and splurged a little. "OkaysoI'mgoingtoenticeMetromantocomehereandmaybehaveoneofyoudie. There~!"
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    Re: Sign on the Dotted Line, Please!

    Post by Kev on Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:48 pm

    "....oh, okay then." Kev blinked, actually a little surprised that Zurg spilled his plan. But Metroman? Who was that... Kev tapped his chin as he tried remembering who this 'Metroman' was. Oh yes, that was the muscley man in a cape!

    "Oooooooh, oh yeah! That guy! You wanna fight him? Cool." He said, once AGAIN forgetting that this man he was talking with conversationally was his captor.
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    Re: Sign on the Dotted Line, Please!

    Post by Zurg on Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:50 pm

    "I know, right~?" Zurg replied back with a valley girl accent. He even flicked his wrist with a roll of his eyes, lounging back. "And don't forget! Play your part! You don't want to be shipped back to Leslie in a jam jar, do you?"
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    Re: Sign on the Dotted Line, Please!

    Post by Kev on Fri Nov 12, 2010 8:58 pm

    Kev glared at the intercom. And once again, he re-remembered that this man had taken him hostage, forced him into a dress, and might cause his death, all over some hero guy. Kev was not amused. He did NOT want to go home to his poor Keptoya in a jam jar! Arrrgh, how did he get INTO this mess?

    Just wait til Jo hears about this, Zurgy Kins. He eyed the intercom, still miffed. "What exactly IS my part? I flail flamboyantly, scream, beg for help? Because I didn't need ALL THIS to do that Zurg, you know me! All you need to get me to do all THAT is to use an owl. No need for such killy thingies...."
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    Re: Sign on the Dotted Line, Please!

    Post by Zurg on Fri Nov 12, 2010 9:00 pm

    "But, Kev! I DO have an owl!"

    And the moment Zurg's voice sang over the intercom, a Vulturian shriek talon was released from an automated cage and screeched as it dive-bombed onto Kev's head, scratching at his scales with its curved beak and dagger-like talons!
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    Re: Sign on the Dotted Line, Please!

    Post by Kev on Fri Nov 12, 2010 9:05 pm

    "...."

    Oh Zurg, you evil, evil, evil man! Kev instantly freaked as the owl swooped in, attacking his head. But if he moved too much, this plate would do....something! Something bad! And not good! It'd be bad! Which is not good!

    Kev managed to hop in place, not setting off the pressure plate while ALSO being able to properly freak out.

    "ZURG HOW COULD YOU AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! YOU AREN'T GETTING ANYTHING FOR YOUR NEXT BIRTHDAY!" he yelled, trying to smack that darn owl. Curse you, noodle aaarms.
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    Re: Sign on the Dotted Line, Please!

    Post by Guest on Sat Nov 13, 2010 12:20 am

    Metro Man flew around the area, searching the location of his new Nemesis. He had to! He promised and even put the meeting in his agenda. Never he would go against his agenda! The guy thought to himself:

    "Where could I find a evil-doer that does evil for the sake of evil... THE ORPHANAGE! OF COURSE!"

    As he did an aerial U-Turn, he could hear screams.. Screams from a male.. A young male... In distress!

    He arrived at the crime scene... The Infamous Evil Emperor Zurg was here. For someone evil, he sure respected his schedule. Metro Man looked at the scene: The Evil emperor was in the front of the Orphanage with that strange alien fellow.. dressed in a princess costume..

    "Evil Emperor Zurg! I got you this time! What kind of sick man would do this!? Dressing someone in drag against their own will... THIS IS SICK!"
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    Re: Sign on the Dotted Line, Please!

    Post by Zurg on Sat Nov 13, 2010 12:23 am

    "AHAAA! METROMAN!" Zurg sprung up from his evil lawn chair of evil, and struck a dramatic, villainous pose. Ah, how he missed cracking his cape! "The dressing drag was just an elaborate lure! Kev really likes it, you see, but I knew a goody goody-two shoe like you couldn't resist! AHA! You have fallen into my trap, Metroman! Obseeeeeerve."

    The Evil Emperor held up a remote and he pressed the button, Kev being attacked by more shriek talons! And, at the same time, the bomb at the orphanage began to tick!

    "Who will you save, Metroman? The screaming, helpless children with no families! OR. The screaming alien in drag! CHOOSE! You have thirty seconds!" Zurg brought out his timecom and began to count the seconds!
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    Re: Sign on the Dotted Line, Please!

    Post by Kev on Sat Nov 13, 2010 12:27 am

    "Hooray, I'm gonna be saved!" Kev yelled as Metroman made the scene. But then Zurg explained his plan, and Kev's face fell...as much as it could. Not much of a FACE to fall. Point being, he had a sad face. Zurg was gonna make this guy choose between spawn or him?! How evil!

    And then MORE shriek talons attacked! FFF WHAT IS THIS, HE DOESN'T EVEN-

    "FGSFDS ZURG! WHYYYYYY!!!! WWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY!! POR QUEEEEEEEEE!!! And I don't like it either." He yelled, trying to flail away from the claws, without stepping off the pressure plate.
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    Re: Sign on the Dotted Line, Please!

    Post by Guest on Sat Nov 13, 2010 12:29 am

    Metro Man was bad at choices. Why did the hero always had damn choices to make. That wasn't fair at all. But Justice has to be served. And Served it shalt be.

    "I choose..BOTH."


    As he flew toward the Orphanage with the speed of a bullet, He smashed though the walls, grabbing every children in his sight, and tried to hurry. Another wall was in his way to get out but he blasted it with his Super Vision and turned while flying toward Kev and grabbing him also. He let the poor people down behind him, Looking at Zurg.

    "Whew..Evil never wins! Let those poor people go, It's between you and me!
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    Re: Sign on the Dotted Line, Please!

    Post by Zurg on Sat Nov 13, 2010 12:32 am

    ..........Well, craters. Zurg hadn't really... Stupid super-heroes! Buzz Lightyear never did this!

    Zurg only rattled his fists in anger and threw the remote upon the ground violently, smashing it with a boot. "GHghghgAGHGHHghghghgHGH!" The grub new better than to stick around and it hid into a shrub.

    "YOU HAVEN'T WON YET, METROMAN! I HAVE A WILDCARD! CUE THE WILDCARD!" The Evil Emperor shouted! In that moment, the dress Kev wore took control of the smaller alien's body and he started to pull on Metroman's hair.

    "HAH! Feel the rug burn of evil!"

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    Re: Sign on the Dotted Line, Please!

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