Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    Always On My Mind

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    Lunette
    Lunette
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    Terabyte

    Posts : 377
    Join date : 2014-05-18
    Level : 6

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    Always On My Mind

    Post by Lunette on Sun Apr 09, 2017 3:43 am

    Late September | Year 7 | Early Morning?


    I think it best if I take my leave, mi vefo. This place isn't really suited for me--

    What? Y-you're just going to leave?? Just like that?

    No... I will come back--I'll write and keep you up with what I'm doing. I'll send you things.

    ...

    It'll be alright. I feel I've done more harm than good being here.

    It was my fault.

    We have been over this. It's not your fault--things just happen. It will heal over time, I promise.

    ...

    Just know, I will come back for you.

    'He never sent you a letter.'
    'He hasn't spoken to you again.'
    'You drove them both away. Just like with Rorik and Neille.'


    A gentle, near-silent 'blip' hit the plush carpet beneath the bed Lunette laid on, half of her hanging off the side. Her eyes devoid of emotion other than apathy--eyes red as her clothes and tired from so much crying, yet the tears still came so easily. In her hand was a book, one she had been reading a while ago, a look of hopelessness across her face. There wasn't anything she could do or say as her thoughts invaded, pricking at her soft spots, like thousands of tiny pins poking her strategically.

    'You don't deserve anything--you were thoughtless. You didn't think of the consequences, the pain you'd bring to others.'

    'You probably don't even care.'


    "... I do care..." she said meekly to no one. Her face became hidden as she stuffed it into the pillow, trying not to think. Trying not to let things bother her. But it did. It kept bothering her. It had bothered her for so long, even during the summer--she felt so bad... Alasdair was in such a terrifying position of being literally dead, gone from the world, and yet she could only think of herself, worrying about what would happen if they returned to everyone so suddenly as if nothing had happened.

    Walking back with big stupid smiles, like the things that had transpired the previous winter hadn't happened. It made her sick, made her stomach churn with a burning sensation. Pretend nothing happened--that wasn't an option, it could never be. She wasn't that thoughtless, was she? She hadn't... even apologized, had she? They just left without saying anything... It had happened so suddenly.

    Sutekh had burst through the tavern doors while it was still in the city, carrying Alasdair. He looked completely lifeless--moreso than usual--and the beastman was yelling and yowling in such a pitiful way, asking the indigo lapine that previously stayed with her what was wrong. Veskur... Lunette looked down again at the carpet, a small wet stain from where her tears had hit the floor. They had hurried off to a quiet area to perform various rituals--some involving sacrifices, something the ISOs would not appreciate--and for months they tried to revive Alasdair.

    It wasn't her fault that had happened.
    It wasn't her fault she had left without saying anything, considering the nature of the situation.

    That's what she kept telling herself.
    It was her fault, though. Her fault Veskur left... her fault she drove away--

    Lunette's fur ruffled up as she collapsed onto the floor suddenly, then scrambled her way to the bathroom towards the toilet, and vomited. It was only bile, burning her throat and mouth as it rose from her insides and escaped with every heave. It took a few to expel enough, then she merely laid on the cold floor, staring at the wall in a daze. Her body curled up, like a worm that had dried out in the sun, and wished for her mind to leave her alone. All she wanted was peace, to not think of anything. To not worry and have everything be alright.

    How could she?

    She felt so selfish thinking like that. What she wanted--what she wished--it was all her own desires once again.

    "Stop... stop it..." her hands grasped over her head, holding it as her nails began to dig into her soft scalp. The burning inside started up, the bile churning and working its way back up through her throat. It took a great force for her to swallow it back down, holding it back as she wished to just lay there, even fall asleep. Anything to get away from these thoughts--anything for the them to stop.

    Her chest burned, her heart ached and her mind felt drained of all life as her face became devoid of emotion. It was pitiful--like an addict that had overdosed, she laid on the ground of the bathroom, waiting for the embrace of sleep--her only way out of thinking. Even if they were nightmares, it was better than feeling anything right now. Nightmares were the least of her problems, she felt. They were nothing compared to the thoughts that tormented her for days, before she even bothered to comprehend where she really was and what was really going on.

    Alasdair was fine.
    They had come back.
    Almost everyone seemed happy.

    ...

    'Hide from your problems. Sleep. Run away, like you always do.'

      Current date/time is Tue Mar 26, 2019 11:09 am