Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    Not Quite Cutting Edge

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    Not Quite Cutting Edge

    Post by Lunette on Tue Apr 11, 2017 8:15 pm

    APRIL 9th | YEAR 7 | 20:10

    "... So, with each world being destroyed for whatever reason, X decided to bring people here. To protect us. It might sound bad... but honestly, this isn't such a bad place! It's... home."

    Out of everything that could happen, one of the things Lunette hated was always telling newcomers that their previous home was destroyed. The exact details were always a bit of a blur, and while she appreciated not being blown up with her homeworld, it was still always a little depressing. There were theories and ideas of places still being around in certain timelines and all, but boy, did time shenanigans confuse her! Alasdair tried explaining it once and never again...

    Lunette purred as her arm gave her new robot acquaintance a gentle tug, pushing some brush away as the lights of the Tavern lit the area around them. It looked quite old and classic in design, but it had a few modern necessities. "Here we are~ That wasn't too bad of a walk, hm?" As much as the thought of carrying Scaramouch made her giggle to herself, he was still walking on his own two feet for now. Around the corner and to the front of the establishment, Lunette opened the doors and stepped inside, getting a nice blast of warmth and scents of food and alcohol. It wasn't very busy, practically little to no customers were around, but that was fine. It was a nice quiet evening at home~

    "There's some uh... outlets around, and I have some... oil?" Her head tilted to the right, not entirely sure if that sounded appetizing. It never did. "If you're thirsty, I mean! I also have some more powerful stuff that a lot of other robotics like to drink called energon! It packs quite a punch." Cybertronians could handle it, that much she knew, but other mechanical individuals... it honestly varied, from what she had witnessed. And it was definitely a no-no for the organics! "You just make yourself right at home, dear. I'll be right back~" A small chirp escaped her as she let go of his hand and sashayed her way into the kitchen.

    ---

    "Eyyy, Miss Lulu~"
    Boon grinned widely and dropped the dish he was washing in the sink as the feline walked inside, her basket of cherries catching is attention. "Ooh, lookit all those! You really went wild, huh?" She glanced down, as if forgetting the basket was there and nodded with a sheepish grin, "ahh-yes! I did, there were just so many, I figured we could freeze some for later use..." Blue eyes glanced over to the other side of the kitchen where Collins was, rearranging utensils. Huh... they really hadn't heard her? She knew her voice cut out pretty early, but they just didn't even assume something was wrong? Though, to be fair, she did always come home late--or just whenever.

    As much as she wanted to be mad at them, she couldn't. Only sighing, she gave the basket over to Boon and smiled sweetly, "why don't you sort these for me? I've someone to tend to." "Aye-aye, boss lady~!" Saluting, the daemon took the basket near the sink, and Lunette looked over at Collins, "dear, do we have any energon left? Or that premium oil?" The gargoyle gave her a look, but dismissed it and waved his hand over to the basement door, "we do. I can get it for you in a minute--both?" "Both would be nice, if it isn't too much trouble."

    With those two set to work, Lunette walked back out with a big smile and wide eyes.
    "I'll have something for you in a jiffy~ Is there anything else I can answer or do for you, dear?"
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    Re: Not Quite Cutting Edge

    Post by Scaramouche on Tue Apr 11, 2017 9:40 pm

    You know, you wouldn't think a 2.5 mile walk through a dense forest at night was incredibly difficult for a robot in heels. The risk Scaramouch took was calculated, but man, was he bad at math. He was probably due for a tune-up...

    WARNING!! WARNING!!

    Battery Life Remaining: 5%...|

    Estimated Time Remaining Until Battery Saver Mode: 00hr 29min 78sec...|

    WARNING!! WARNING!!

    "Hnnngh..."

    He's gonna shutdown, he's gonna shutdown, he's gonna shutdown, he'sgonnashutdownohAkupleaseno. No offense to the wonderful Lunette (who was just a real peach, by the way), but Scaramouch didn't understand a word she said. In fact, every sentence uttered sounded exactly like:

    "... So, with each -- " KZZZZT! " -- destroyed for whatever reason, X decided to bring -- " KSSSSSH! " -- It might sound bad... but honestly, this isn't such a bad place! It's -- " Click!

    Auxiliary Systems: Online...|

    Aaaaaaaaaaaand there went his primary auditory sensors. Oh, and his spatial recognition system. And his liquid cooling, and his secondary servos, and his LEDs... By the time they had finally arrived at Lunette's place, Scaramouch was just a walking wreck. He barely made it through those doors with uneven, lethargic steps, his knuckles mere inches off the wooden flooring. "I'm... gonna... die..." No, not really. The robot would just forcibly shutdown and be at the mercy of whoever found him, with no memory or recollection until powering back on. Scary, right? Lunette said something - she said a lot of somethings - but he just couldn't... focus. Scaramouch barely heard the words 'oil' and 'energon' (whatever that was), though his sensors immediately clued in on 'outlets'. "Oh thank my lucky stars...!" he groaned. There was electricity nearby! Now, if he could just... find it.

    It must have been comical for Lunette, watching him slump against a wall as he desperately felt his way around. Like a drunkard trying to stand upright and not topple over, really. And it was just as challenging, because without the use of his external receptors and spatial recognition system...

    ...Clink!

    Thump!

    BANG!


    That last one was his knee, but Scaramouch couldn't feel that either.

    After a great deal of knocking things over like salt shakers and utensils, the robot had at last found a table with an outlet closest to him. Oh yessss! He wobbly collapsed into a chair with an unceremoniously - pomf! - and frantically dug both hands into his coat. "Cable, cable, cable... Where's the freakin' - !?" Cable, YES! Scaramouch whipped it out (babe) and slammed that sucker in. The result was nothing short of euphoric.

    Battery Life Remaining: 5%...|

    Current Status: Recharging...|

    "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." Good lord, was the robot happy for some juice. His paddy hat fell to the floor with a rimshot clatter as Scaramouch reclined back, arms limp and head tilted backward. The dimness of his eyes gradually began to fade. Maybe he could hibernate on the spot, and -

    "I'll have something for you in a jiffy~ Is there anything else I can answer or do for you, dear?"

    Aw crap, the robot forgot about Lunette.

    The effort was great, but Scaramouch eventually managed to acknowledge her with the languid evening of his gaze. "U-Uh..." What's that, oil? What did he need... Oh right, oil was good for replenishing fluids and not, you know, rusting out. "...Oh, yeah, sure. I could go for some... oil. Please and thanks." If she ever asked, he'd apologize for the general unprofessionalism. For now, though, metal digits reached back into his coat and pulled out a slender black wallet. "How much do I owe?" Hey, didn't there used to be bills in here...? What's with all the strange-looking plastic?
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    Re: Not Quite Cutting Edge

    Post by Lunette on Tue Apr 11, 2017 10:48 pm

    Well jeepers, maybe if a certain someone had just accepted to be carried, maybe that specific person wouldn't be falling apart. Almost literally.

    Lunette would spare Scaramouch a long speech and instead, walked over and carefully picked up the circular hat to investigate it for a moment before placing it on the bar. With a quick sweep of the tavern with her eyes, Lunette pulled out the stool next to the recharging bot and prepped herself to hop on up. Oh! But before she did...

    "I can't believe they didn't bother setting the mood..." the cat huffed and clicked on the jukebox near the entrance and clicked a few buttons at random. The jukebox made a whirrrrr before a click and the music began filling the establishment. With that done, Lunette returned to the stool she had pulled out and hopped on top of the seat. As luck would have it, the robotic decided on having a drink of the oil she offered, giving a slight hint that he didn't know what energon was. "My associates will be bringing that up momentarily. Until then, I hope the uh--electricity is... good." That sounded better in her head.

    Just as before, those deft hands slid into that (apparently pocket-filled) coat, but pulled out a rather nice wallet instead of another instrument. "Oh, please, don't worry about that. Consider this part of the thank you for getting me out of that tree--" her face suddenly got close to his, eyes narrowing into a predator glare, "and never speaking of this again."

    Tee hee~

    Sitting up straight, her eyes returned to their soft nature and she corrected herself, "but in all seriousness, dear, I'd be appreciative if you... made up something. Go the whole nine yards if you want!" Anything, so long as it wasn't what REALLY happened. She felt bad for lying but... she would eventually tell the truth! Just... not right now.

    "Nine yards of what?" Collins asked quietly before placing down a martini glass and shaking up a chrome bottle of non-descriptive oil and pouring it into the cup.

    "Nothing~ And thank you! Did you bring up the energon, too?" The gargoyle squinted at Lunette, then Scaramouch, back to Lunette and finally rolled his eyes before lifting up a small canister of BIOHAZARD, considering all the biohazard and caution stickers it was covered in. "Oh good! We'll see how that works later." The martini glass was pushed cautiously towards Scaramouch, all while Collins wore a deadpan stare and forced out an "enjoy" before looking back to his boss. "I'll go find those cube cups for that," he pointed to the energon, "so excuse me."

    "Bye~" Lunette purred and waved before returning her attention to the tired robot. She figured it best to let him at least 'breathe' and enjoy some peace rather than jumping right back into a long explanation of anything they were curious about.
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    Re: Not Quite Cutting Edge

    Post by Scaramouche on Wed Apr 12, 2017 12:35 am

    There was a little thing called pride; and Scaramouch, as charming as he was, wasn't without his vices. Take jazzy music, for example. Good jazzy music like the saucy tune playing right this second. That opening with the jaunty, delicate piano keystrokes... That smooth, smooth trombone and double bass in the background... That smokin' sax and lit trumpet... That... That everything! Why, listening to this was like having -

    ...whiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrr!

    And just wouldn't you know it, all of his functions decided to announce themselves operational at that exact moment. Golly, this robot was the epitome of great timing, yes sir! Scaramouch just stared ahead, mortified, and played it cool with only the most guiltiest look ever. Thank gawd his LED display wasn't built with irises in mind. "...Ha~! I-I, uh, have... h-have, like, no idea what t-that sound - ahem." Yeah, nah. Lying wasn't gonna cut it this time around. So the robot the next best thing, which was good ol' deflection. When it doubt, deflect. "Whew!" He pretended to fan himself, chuckling nervously. "Aside from the wicked speakeasy aesthetics and bangin' jukebox, it's also got great central heating and air conditioning. Very nice place you got here, babe." Eh... lame, but it was the best he could come up with on the spot. Would it work, though?

    "My associates will be bringing that up momentarily. Until then, I hope the uh--electricity is... good."

    Oh, well... guess it did. He was in the clear!

    What Lunette said was a little awkward, but Scaramouch took it like a champ. "They can take their sweet time, babe! I'm not in a rush anytime soon," he answered. This is where the robot got sloppy. Good music just... did that to him. Freudian slip in three, two...

    "And don't sweat it; the hook-up was orgas - GOOD." Oh GOD. Basics android models don't blush, but if they could, Scaramouch would be as red as a beet. "Good! What I meant to say was good!" Brief pause. "Also,thanksforcompingmydrink!" Too late. No amount of emphatic correcting was going to save him now. And to compound things further, Lunette had suddenly got waaaaaaay too close. C'mon, babe! This was, like, a vulnerable time for him. The robot nearly tipped his chair off the floor and squeaked, lanky arms protectively covering his face. "Ack! Okay, okay! You got it, babe, I ain't tellin' a soul about you being stuck in a stupid cherry tree, I promise!" Now just please sit back down and give him some space! DON'T HURT HIM.

    She thankfully didn't, although his hard-coded nerves weren't happy campers.

    WARNING!! WARNING!!

    CPU Temperature: 75°C

    COOL DOWN IMMEDIATELY

    See?

    He lowered his arms and tried to relax. Deep artificial breaths, deep artificial breaths... Let the fans do their thing. "Look, if inquiring minds gotta know, I'll just tell folks you randomly bumped into me at the forest, fair deal, babe?" Sometimes, the simplest cover stories were the best. No details to trip over and no words to hang yourself; which Scaramouch knew all about, hint hint. Hopefully that would fly, because he honestly didn't think he could take another sc -

    "Nine yards of what?"

    Welp, scratch that. The robot instantly squeezed his eyes shut and tensed. Here it comes... Here it - bang! - comes... Terrific. Just... terrific.

    Now, Scaramouch didn't expect either of the organics (that other guy was organic, right?) to understand what had just happened. In that way, they were lucky. So, as he sloooowly turned his head to look at the - what Scaramouch assumed - bartender, a fledgling tendril of smoke wafting from out of his coat, the robot could hardly contain his irritation. "Well hello to you too, Batman. A little warning would have been, you know, nice, but I guess that's just too much to ask, right? ...Thanks for the drink, pal." Sorry, but no 'babe' for you, you stone-faced sourpuss.
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    Re: Not Quite Cutting Edge

    Post by Lunette on Wed Apr 12, 2017 1:49 am

    Oh, she had noticed. Thing was, though, she just assumed that of being some kind of robotic thing rather than what it really was, and only looked at him with a little more concern than confusion. "Hm... thank you--I like it!" Yeah, it was a pretty nice place. It did the job for both business and living, after all.

    "And don't sweat it; the hook-up was orgas - GOOD."

    A tiny, huffy snicker escaped her as Lunette stifled a larger laugh by biting her lip. Boy, was he lucky neither Boon nor Collins had heard that, cause it could be taken in a VERY WRONG way. And then, there would be trouble. They both could surely agree that they've had just about enough of trouble for one day. She did, however, poke his nose gently. "That's for flinching." You know, Lunette was kind of glad Scaramouch didn't attempt to catch her--his arms would've probably fallen off! What a cute wimp.

    And to further prove this, Collins spooked him. Of all people...
    The gargoyle had no retorts to the awkward automaton before he left, only raising his brow at the "Batman" comment and furrowing it once more--especially over what looked like two blades and whatever else that giant coat was covering. Yeah... he was definitely gonna let Boon know there was some weirdo with weapons on their person, especially near their boss.

    Resting her head on her hands, Lunette purred as her tail swayed before letting out a soft snicker, "don't mind him, he's always like that. Quiet and glaring and being a judgeroo." It was basically his job! Punched in every day with the hopes of quietly judging everyone. But at least he was efficient. While she let Scaramouch enjoy that glass of premo-oil, the cat just purred idly, glancing over every so often with a thoughtful yet curious look. It wasn't until the previously mentioned daemon came through the door to take a gander at their customer that she broke any form of concentration. Lunette chirped a "Hi~" and was greeted with a "Howdy!" Boon grinned as he stood behind and placed his hands on the cat's shoulders before blinking in a stupefied manner at the musical robotic.

    "... This guy's got good color tastes," he said, that grin getting wider as the pointed to his own fur. "We match, bud!" Letting out a soft laugh, Lunette patted the daemon's hands before pointing to the mech, as if presenting him. "This is Scaramouch, dear Boon. I bumped into him while I was out, and he helped me get those cherries you obviously enjoyed." It was true, he had that scent of cherries and dirt (and beer) all over him. "Really? That's mighty kind of ya, bud!" his hand reached out in a friendly manner for a shake, but if Scaramouch dared to shake back, he'd be greeted with the heartiest of handshakes (and maybe motion sickness).

    "Nice t' know this gal was safe with ya, too. Bothers me when she heads out on her own and doesn't bring nothin' for us to contact her with. Ah can't help but t'worry!" Lunette flicked her wrist daintily as the daemon swooned, dismissing his sweet words for the time being.
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    Re: Not Quite Cutting Edge

    Post by Scaramouche on Wed Apr 12, 2017 2:41 am

    Boop~!

    Wow, she poked his nose. That, uh... That was also first. For a moment, Scaramouch wondered if he had bitten off more than he could chew, the woman's snickering not going without notice. ...Was that even possible? "U-uh, yeah... f-flinching," the robot replied. You know what, he was just gonna drink this glass of oil. It was free, it was probably the best glass of oil he had seen in days, and... yeah. Bottoms up!

    The act of drinking itself was kinda... weird. Even pointless. He didn't really need to drink this glass, and he didn't really need to imbibe oil. As thorough as his makers were, whoever they are, they didn't see any reason installing taste buds. External receptors and the ability to feel pain (hooray...), sure; but for some reason the sense of taste was... omitted. Scaramouch only drank because he didn't want to offend Lunette's generous hospitality. And hey, it was a free drink, so... He took a modest sip, setting the glass down. "Charming," was Scaramouch's polite way of saying 'asshole'. And believe him, babe, Scaramouch knew a thing or two about assholes. The little guy mustn't be all that bad, though, if Lunette was willing to employ him. She seemed like a nice dame enough. Maybe too nice. Cyan diodes flickered; a blink. Hey, was that... smoke? Oh right, right - blown fuse. Never mind, the little guy was a complete -

    ...Thud.

    ...Thud.

    ...Thud!


    Fe, fi, fo, fum! Out stomped a giant...

    "Howdy!"

    ...purple, fuzzy, horned, bull-man? Whatever he was, the guy's ogling was matched with an equally baffled stare. "Uh... hi," Scaramouch returned, tentative. Oooookay, so, Lunette apparently worked with a short batty guy and a really tall... fuzzy guy. Good to know! Oh, but that compliment... It was like night and day between this fellow and the speckled grump.

    "Any guy who enjoys a superb taste in colors is a friend of mine~! You're looking pretty hot, yourself, babe." There we go. The robot was feeling better already. Seeing how it was impolite to keep drinking while there was schmoozing to be done, Scaramouch was more than happy shooting the breeze. Judging by the sound of Boon's accent, he figured the guy was your average country boy; which, hey, the robot wasn't gonna judge. Not like batboy. "Boon, huh? Pleasure to meet you, babe! Like the pretty lady said, the name's Scaramouch. As fate would have it, she was busy picking cherries and needed a helping hand or two." Then came the pause. "...A lot of cherries." Like, did you see that basket, babe? Anyway, time to give some skin! Er, metal, in this case. Scaramouch delighted in Boon's friendly gesture and held out a hand.

    Bad idea.

    Really bad idea.

    Not only was gripping Boon's hand like a vice, but the guy was just oozing with strength. Raw, unbridled strength, baby! The robot found himself fiercely rattling in his seat, and it took both of his hands just to grasp Boon's and keep from flying into orbit! "W-W-What do-o the-e-e-y f-feed you-u back ho-o-ome-e-e!?"

    Lunette.

    LUNETTE.
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    Re: Not Quite Cutting Edge

    Post by Lunette on Wed Apr 12, 2017 3:29 am

    Too many assumptions had been made, and all were proven wrong.
    Not all robots were strong physically, not all knew what energon was and, now, not all of them actually drank. When the only mechanical citizens that surrounded her life oft displayed more 'living' actions, it was a little hard to assume otherwise. In her state of naivety, she was still quite happy to see him sip, even if it wasn't needed. It helped ease her mind when people were trying to relax, serving them a drink to calm down or a nice meal to make their day a bit brighter.

    And Boon's handshake probably didn't help all that oil settle with a shooka-shooka-shooka, releasing Scaramouch from his grip and chuckling. "Lots'a meat, fer one. And uh--t-thank ya kindly!" It wasn't really the 'babe' that threw him off, but more so that Boon never really got compliments like that from males much, and it took him a second to wipe an awkward smile from his face. "Speakin' of cherries, I did sort 'em like ya asked me. And I may have taken a few handfuls t' make sure they were poison free." You know, those kinds of cherries. The poisonous ones!

    "Thank you! If it's still this quiet in a bit, we can make something with them," she said, giving the daemon a gentle pat on the chest, his tail curling up a bit in obvious excitement. "That reminds me... Boon, do you have anything we can give this lovely gentlemen that might help him get used to this place? You and Collins always have some nifty little things~" The daemon gave a thunk, scratching the scruff on his chin and quirking a brow. "... Probably. Lemme grab 'im and we'll look around fer somethin' good for Mochi here!" Boon flashed Scaramouch a grin before setting off back into the kitchen, a muffled "let go of me" being heard as the two went to the basement.

    "You can take a pick of whatever they find, dear. It could be useful--they like to swap things with a few other friends, all of them like collecting weird trinkets and magical items or making some kind of..." her hand made circular motions as she struggled to find the word, "... oddities." Eh, close enough. "Is there anything on your mind that I could answer or help with at the moment~?" Head tilting once more, eyes focused in a curious manner, her attention was directly onto the robit, her purr never ceasing or showing signs of letting up.
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    Re: Not Quite Cutting Edge

    Post by Scaramouche on Wed Apr 12, 2017 4:15 am

    Shooka-shooka-shooka...!

    Luneeeeeeeeeeeeetteeeeee - oh, Boon stopped. Thank god. Buddha. Aku. Whatever. By the time Scaramouch retrieved his hand from that beastly crush of a shake, his poor digits felt as if they were fire. Fire, baby! Just look at his dainty flute-playing fingers, look at them! He gingerly held up his thin aching wrist with a hand, mouth slightly agape in horror. "Haaauughghgh...!" Don't whimper, don't whimper, don't whimper. Pain receptors; gotta love 'em. The chiropractor was gonna charge him a fortune for this, sheesh!

    Unsurprisingly, the secret to Boon's massive girth was meat. Lots and lots of meat, and probably a ton of potatoes. "...Ha ha~! W-Would you believe me if I said that was my f-first guess? And y-you're welcome, b-babe. Please don't hurt me." Just look at that shaky, pained smile. Scaramouch wasn't on the verge of oily robot-tears. Noooo, why would you think of such an absurd thing? Him crying over a measly handshake was like suggesting Big Boy, there, had a resolve of steel and didn't eat any of Lunette's cherries. Utterly, entirely, completely, and absolutely true ridiculous! Real talk, though - poisonous cherries? ...Seriously, babe? Not that Scaramouch necessarily believed him, but he decided that it was wiser letting Boon think himself clever. You know, for reasons. Aching, throbbing, painful reasons. The robot couldn't abstain from sending Lunette a knowing 'look', however. "Well, at least one of us can check for poison," Scaramouch played along.

    He had a funny feeling, just a little one, that Boon's definition of 'handful' was rather... big. Boy, Lunette was sure gonna be hoppin' mad if there was only half a basket left. Wouldn't wanna be Boon in that case!

    "That reminds me... Boon, do you have anything we can give this lovely gentlemen that might help him get used to this place? You and Collins always have some nifty little things~"

    "... Probably. Lemme grab 'im and we'll look around fer somethin' good for Mochi here!"

    The robot swiftly glanced up from his drink, puzzled. "...Mochi?" Oh no, not another nickname! Wasn't mochi, like, something edible? Eh... still better than Scaramooch. He grimaced but otherwise kept mum. Hey, at least all this was helping him forget about his freakin' hand. ...That he just now remembered.

    Scaramouch gave it one last shake, trying his hardest not to wince, and refocused on Lunette. ...Just how long could cats purrs? "Oh no, don't worry about it, babe! I said I'd 'help' - " read: rescue, for those in the know " - you for free, and I'm sticking to my word. You don't have to give me anything, but thanks. I'm more than happy with the free drink and juice." Rewards were nice, but Scaramouch was a robot who knew what he liked and stuck to his preferences. The likelihood of Lunette repaying him with a book about old historical plays or classical sheet music was next to nil. Bummer!

    "Is there anything on your mind that I could answer or help with at the moment~?"

    Hmm, now that she mentioned it... wasn't there something about a portal beach? No, wait... that didn't sound right. Portal... Portal Breach...? Yeah, that's the one! "Yes, actually. What's the skinny about this place, Portal Breach?" he inquired, frowning. "You mentioned the name before, but I, for the love of me, can't locate a single thing about it in my databanks. What gives, babe?"
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    Re: Not Quite Cutting Edge

    Post by Lunette on Wed Apr 12, 2017 5:02 am

    It took a great deal of power for Lunette not to comment on how... adorably wimpy Scaramouch was. Unable to handle a friendly shake from her daemon boy, spooked by a little gargoyle... it was doubtful he could even handle her. "Mochi sounds kind of cute~" Lunette admitted as the daemon left, then thought about actual mochi. She could definitely go for some right now... "He probably didn't even realize what he called you!" To be fair, Boon wasn't really educated in the arts enough to understand such a fancy sounding name as 'Scaramouch', nor would remember it without some difficulty.

    The tiny fuzzy muzzle on Lunette scrunched up a bit in a pout as the musician reassured that a reward wasn't necessary. Of course it wasn't, but... "Hmm..." was her only response. He'd be given something whether he liked it or not, just because she promised and, honestly, a little help would go far here. It may take the musical bot some time to fully understand that, but in the meantime, the gift would be forced if she had to. He'll be finding that out for himself soon enough.

    Oh? Had he not heard her before? Now that she recalled, he did seem kind of... wonky and out of it, the poor noodly robot! "Ahh, well..." Her thoughts were gathered and words were carefully chosen as she had begun to notice it was pretty easy to get Scaramouch worked up. That last thing she wanted was for him to actually blow a fu--
    Wait.


    oh.



    "I don't really know the full history of this place, but I know that, if you've been brought here, your home world is most likely gone. Supposedly, those portals bring random people from doomed worlds here, to be safe from whatever destroyed them. I don't really know the full extent, but I can say it's a bunch of Gods that don't like each other?"

    Wow this probably sounded really dumb. And, out of context, it does sound really dumb. But every word from her mouth was honest and sincere rather than confused and befuddled. "I guess, in short, your home world is probably gone, though there may be chances of someone else coming from there, depending. You're kind of stuck here, too--it's quite a big wonderful place to explore and wander, and there's lots of nice and... interesting people, though!" Lunette sounded quite chipper just thinking about how her friends and loved ones would react to meeting such a charismatic robot--she'd have to make sure to come to the city more often to check up, too!

    Right. The city.

    "If you want to find more technologically advanced places, the city would most likely be your next destination. You won't even have to walk, there's a bus stop not too far away on the main road." It was quite convenient, honestly, and Lunette used it quite a bit. She had even gotten a bus pass and got to know the driver of the particular bus that carried her to and fro. Quite a nice fellow, he was.

    CLONK!

    Clink, clink, clink...

    Tail fluffing up abruptly, Lunette glanced down at the floor for a moment before folding her hands together in a calm manner and responding with, "they're probably fine." Her stern expression shifted back to a softer look as she continued, "do you have any other questions or concerns, dear~?"

    And, by the way.

    That purring was never going to stop.
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    Re: Not Quite Cutting Edge

    Post by Scaramouche on Wed Apr 12, 2017 6:41 am

    "Mochi sounds kind of cute~"

    No!

    He cringed. By all that was jazzy and hip, he cringed. Scaramouch marginally looked away as if he had noticed a rotten smell. "Hnnngh..." Mochi, bleh! How come no one understood the imaginative origins of his name anymore? Did they, like, ever? He wouldn't be having this problem if his name was something easy, like Othello or Harlequin; but no, his name was Scaramouch. And it was even spelled wrong! Scaramouch was supposed to have an 'e' at the end of it! This is why art and history (but particularly art) were import - you know what, babe, never mind. The robot was gonna work himself up over nothing again.

    With only the most dramatic of sighs, breath simulated by his cooling fans, Scaramouch relented. "Fine, fine," he grumbled, rolling a hand at the wrist dismissively. "If Boon wants to call me Mochi, fine. If you want to call me Mochi, fine. If Batboy wants to call me Mochi - " He paused for theatrical effect. " - not fine~!" Scaramouch wore the biggest shit-eating grin imaginable. "But just you guys, okay, babe? Only because I like you so much." Really, Lunette and Boon were some of the hippest cats he knew.

    Oh - oh. Ohhhh, was a certain pretty kitty wearing her pouty face~?

    Time for a little payback.

    "What's the matter, babe? Cat got your tongue~?" Worth it. Worth it in spades. Like the insufferable charlatan that he was, Scaramouch lounged back and gracefully crossed his svelte legs with an extravagant flourish. It was almost expected that the robot cross them like a woman of the highest pedigree. "Aww, that's too bad..." he tutted mockingly. Lunette was bound to get sick of Scaramouch's smarmy mug eventually. "You can't make me accept anything, babe. I don't want a reward and that's final, ya dig?" You know, it wasn't exactly bright spiting the lady of the house, but he felt a little, oh, what's the word... ah yes, justified. The cherry on this obnoxious sundae was him wagging a finger. "You. Can't. Make. Me. Accept. Anything." Because he wouldn't, even if Lunette had the gall to force-feed it down his riveted throat and make him eat crow.

    She didn't have to, though.

    She didn't have to, though, because there was such a thing as karma. If Scaramouch was all smiles and ribbing now, he wasn't about to be in the next twenty seconds.

    "I don't really know the full history of this place, but I know that, if you've been brought here, your home world is most likely gone."

    Cue the record scratch.

    "...Whoa, say what?" Did his auditory sensors deceive, or did Lunette really say what he thought she did? Aghast, the robot straightened his posture and accompanied it with an indignant scoff. "Lunette, babe! You can't joke like that! That's, like... wrong." Come now, who goes around saying people's worlds were obliterated!? Well, Aku did, but he was Aku. It was kinda par for the course. But Lunette wasn't Aku, which instantly put her high in Scaramouch's books. Until she said that, anyhow... Not to sound like a softie, but hearing something so awful, so... so uncouth out of someone so, so sweet... it really punctured a hole in his core, you know?

    Scaramouch's frown only deepened. The betrayal. "...Did I go too far, or something? I mean, I know I can be an insensitive jerk, but babe... That cut. That cut real deep. ...I think that's kind of a deal-breaker." To be fair, plenty of individuals had said awful, nasty things to him before. The one bad thing about being a machine, was that Scaramouch had the sole misfortune of remembering every single insult pitched his way. They were all partitioned into a separate drive, of course, but that didn't mean they weren't there.

    Lunette, how could you... He had people he liked back home. He had things; art pieces, written plays of olde, photographs, irreplaceable instruments, music.

    "I, uh... I should probably - "

    "Supposedly, those portals bring random people from doomed worlds here, to be safe from whatever destroyed them. I don't really know the full extent, but I can say it's a bunch of Gods that don't like each other? I guess, in short, your home world is probably gone, though there may be chances of someone else coming from there, depending. You're kind of stuck here, too--it's quite a big wonderful place to explore and wander, and there's lots of nice and... interesting people, though!"

    And she was still going!

    His eyes were practically bulging out of their display. "What!? No! Lunette, babe, I love ya, but you gotta stop! Look right over here - look at Mochi!" Scaramouch snapped his fingers to draw her attention. Not like it wasn't already, but the robot digressed. "What you're saying is cuh-RAAAAAAY-zee talk, babe. Crazy! There's no other word for it except 'are you out of your skap-a-dap-a-diddily-bap mind'!?" The robot was as animated as he was devastated, wildly gesturing and making all sorts of faces. Why was it always the cute ones? Why!? All this mention of gods and portals and - ugh! Forget blowing a single fuse; Scaramouch felt a core meltdown coming on! "Lunette, you're tearing me apart here, babe. We had a great thing going on between us, but then you had to drop this bomb on my lap and expect me to bend over a desk and take it! Those days are, like, behind me!" More lively gestures, more grappling with soul-crushing sorrow. "L-Literally, it's like... like...! 'Everyone you know is dead, Scaramouch. Every friend you've ever had is dead, Scaramouch. All the things you've worked for, you've toiled for, you've suffered for, are gone, Scaramouch. All the countless hours you've logged while online have now become nothing.'"

    In hindsight (because this tirade was gonna bite him in the aft later), the robot didn't mean to sound so cruel or flippant. Emotional, yes. But seldom malicious without provocation. Scaramouch was a machine - a collection of 1s and 0s stored on a tiny chip in his head. Everything he witnessed, everything he experienced, everything that made Scaramouch Scaramouch, had to be funneled into this complex grinder of bits and bytes so that he could just make sense of the world. And if that world didn't make sense...

    Well, here we are. The night was now officially rui -

    Beep, beep! Beep, beep!

    The robot abruptly paused in his melodrama. "Oh... That's me... Hang on, babe..." But the wind was still out of his sails, and Scaramouch looked like the saddest sack of potatoes. "It's, um, a robot thing..." he mumbled dejectedly. "...You wouldn't understand." Sigh, let's see what this was...

    Vocal Stress Analysis: Running...|
    --->Subject: Lunette
    --->Subject's Sample:

    "I don't really know the full history of this place, but I know that, if you've been brought here, your home world is most likely gone."

    "Supposedly, those portals bring random people from doomed worlds here, to be safe from whatever destroyed them. I don't really know the full extent, but I can say it's a bunch of Gods that don't like each other? I guess, in short, your home world is probably gone, though there may be chances of someone else coming from there, depending. You're kind of stuck here, too--it's quite a big wonderful place to explore and wander, and there's lots of nice and... interesting people, though!"

    ...
    ...
    ...

    Vocal Stress Analysis: Complete...|

    --->Likelihood of Subject's Deceit: 0.333333333%
    --->Likelihood of Subject's Veracity: 99.66666666%

    ...
    ...
    ...

    --->Outcome: Subject is telling the truth

    "..."

    WHAT.

    That - not what Lunette said - was the final straw to break Scaramouch's back. He simply looked to her, expression blank, and reached for his drink. "Excuse me, babe. I gotta take this one." That was all the robot said before knocking back the oil as if it were ten shots of tequila. He then rose up from his chair, stiff as a board, and went out the door.

    Three...

    Two...

    "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

    There it was, that beautiful - beautiful - existential crisis.
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    Re: Not Quite Cutting Edge

    Post by Lunette on Wed Apr 12, 2017 7:51 am

    If there was one thing Lunette seemed to get away with, it was giving people cutesy nicknames, and this was yet another perfect example... thank you, Boon~ "I won't use it that much, but sometimes." In a sweet or joking manner, most likely.

    As if to rub it in some more, Scaramouch began with more puns. That little "Cat got your tongue~?" bit had her very very tempted to grab his tongue and hold it there for a few seconds--but that was just gross and not at all lady-like. It was important to not get upset over silly little things anyway! After all, he--"You. Can't. Make. Me. Accept. Anything." Her nose scrunched up more, cheeks puffing up as she gave a quiet squint. Not a glare, just a squint.
    He was so going to get it.

    But nonetheless, Lunette managed to let him know what was going on, even if she herself could never really understand as to why. There were worse ways of receiving the news--she had definitely heard some blunt and rude stories told just to make others upset--but she hoped this was an easy way for him to understand and, hopefully, come to terms with what's happened.

    By his reaction... she wasn't sure if he did.

    "... Uh..." was all she could stammer out as a very fast talking and very emotional bout overcame the robot, leaving Lunette in a daze as she attempted to even comprehend what he was saying. "But--" and "you--" were among the few words she managed to spit out during this... whirlwind of mechanical woe. For a moment, she wasn't quite sure what to do, her hands held up in failed attempts of calming him down, and talking certainly wasn't going to help. She could only watch as he acted and moved with every word and--while it hurt to see him upset--she couldn't help but feel as though she was watching a play of sorts. Best to let it ride out, it seemed...

    Beep, beep! Beep, beep!

    Oh, he stopped. Lunette didn't speak or move, and only responded with a soft, "... okay..." as he did his... robot thing. And so she waited patiently, eyes blinking slowly and locked onto him with a look of bewilderment, only to watch Scaramouch chug the oil quickly and walk out of the tavern. At that moment, she wasn't quite sure to follow, or just let him do whatever it was he was going to do, and hopefully be a safe distance from whatever it was.

    "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

    Collins' ears twitched wildly as he looked up to the ceiling, "... Did you hear something?" "It was prob'ly an animal 'r somethin'." The gargoyle gave Boon a look, not quite sure how to respond. It could've been an animal, though it sounded too synthetic. "I wonder if Lunette broke something off that weird automaton..." "In that case, we better hurry and find that stone'." "Quite."

    Lunette hopped off of the bar stool and looked out the window from the door, mooshing her face against the glass to see that he had slumped over in despair after such an excruciating cry. The door clicked open and the cat walked outside, still completely baffled by the previous actions and words that failed to scramble together correctly into coherent sentences. What she DID know, however, was that the news wasn't well received (it rarely was) and all she could offer at the moment was giving him a gentle pat on the back.

    "I'm sorry, dear," she cooed softly and, though hesitant, carefully wrapped her arms around his neck in a hug. "It's never a good thing to hear, and I'm sorry if you lost anything of importance. I know it's not much, but I'm here to help you if you need anything at all! It might feel bad at first, but... it's not the end. You'll be alright--hopefully." She looked away at that last part but returned to press her cheek against his head, purring loud enough for it to reverberate off of him.

    "By the way? You're quite over-dramatic, Mochi~"
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    Re: Not Quite Cutting Edge

    Post by Scaramouche on Wed Apr 12, 2017 7:44 pm

    Within Twenty Seconds:

    Emotional Capacitor: Accessed...|

    --->Disable?: YES/[NO]

    Access Terminated

    Emotional Capacitor: Accessed...|

    --->Disable?: [YES]/NO

    Access Terminated

    Emotional Capacitor: Accessed...|

    --->Disable?: YES/[NO]

    Access Terminated

    Auditory Memory: Accessed...|

    --->Command: Replay

    "...your home world is most likely gone."

    "...home world... gone."

    "...gone."

    English Language Databanks: Accessed...|

    --->Subroutine: Dictionary
    --->Query?

    --->"Gone"

    ...
    ...
    ...

    --->Subject: Gone
    --->Definition:

    Verb

    --->1. past participle of 'go'

    Adjective

    --->1. Away, having left.

    --->2. (figuratively) No longer part of the present situation.

    --->3. Used up.

    --->4. (colloquial) Intoxicated to the point of being unaware of one's surroundings.

    --->5. (colloquial) Excellent; wonderful.

    --->6. (archaic) Ago (used post-positionally).

    --->7.. No longer existing, having passed.

    --->8. Dead.

    Auditory Memory: Accessed...|

    ---Command: Replay

    "...your home world is most likely gone."

    Auditory Memory: Accessed...|

    --->Command: Edit

    "...your home world is most likely away."


    --->Error: false

    "...your home world is most likely removed."

    --->Error: false

    "...your home world is most likely used up."

    --->Error: false

    "...your home world is most likely intoxicated."

    --->Error: false

    "...your home world is most likely excellent."

    --->Error: false

    "...your home world is most likely ago."

    --->Error: false

    "...your home world is most likely dead."

    ...
    ...
    ...

    --->...|

    Access Terminated

    Emotional Capacitor: Accessed...|

    --->Disable?: [YES]/NO

    It was the same thing over and over. The same, stupid thing. An infinite feedback loop of paradoxical frustration that seemingly had no logical conclusion. Robots were not designed to comprehend emotion, yet certain models were expected to translate binary code, unfeeling 1s and 0s, into visceral reaction. The purpose of such unthinking cruelty was little more than self-worship; arrogant creatures of flesh and blood forcing metal and stone into the likeness of their own selfish, illogical image. Now wasn't that just strange?

    Pat!

    Diodes flickered online, their glow casting a faint cyan light. "...Hey, babe."

    Slowly, the physical world began reemerging and the haze of machine algorithms faded away. He could once again make out the sky, the earth, the trees... He could even make out the temperature, a pleasant 20°C. None of that matter, though. They were superfluous details just trying to make himself 'feel' better. Yeah, right... feel.

    "I'm sorry, dear. It's never a good thing to hear, and I'm sorry if you lost anything of importance. I know it's not much, but I'm here to help you if you need anything at all! It might feel bad at first, but... it's not the end. You'll be alright--hopefully."

    Ugh, look at him, on his knees and wallowing in self-pity. Liven up, baby, liven up! Not everything was an irrecoverable loss. Point in case, he was alive. Well, 'alive', but he was growing weary of parsing nuances. He was alive, seemingly in one piece, and not in any immediate danger. When he stepped back and looked at the bigger picture, that was actually pretty darn good. It was even better when his external receptors registered Lunette's hug. Oooh, she's so soft and warm, babe~! He might have lost everything he cared about in the blink of an eye, but like she said, it wasn't the end.

    Emotional Capacitor: Accessed...|

    --->Disable?: YES/[NO]

    Maybe some other day, but for now... the answer was clear.

    His smile returned, and so did his tomfoolery. "Pfft, pfft...! Oh geeze, is this cat hair? No offense, babe, but you're gonna jam me up." Hey, overheating was like the number one killer of robots, no joke. ...Oh, was that purring~? That's adora -

    "By the way? You're quite over-dramatic, Mochi~"

    Why.

    "Hnnngh..." Nope, forget it. The moment was lost, all cuteness ruined. Scaramouch huffed. "Well gee, considering I'm a robot erroneously programmed to decipher and emulate organic emotion, I'd say that's pretty obvious, Lulu." So put that in your furry muzzle and smoke it, babe!
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    Re: Not Quite Cutting Edge

    Post by Lunette on Thu Apr 13, 2017 2:01 am

    What a sad little noodle. Lunette couldn't help but give the hug a little more oomph, squeezing a bit more. Scaramouch looked quite sad and, while overly dramatic, she wasn't going to let someone be sad so close to her. Hopefully, though, they'd pull through. "Oh please, I don't shed~" she softly smiled, taking note of his lighter tone. Maybe he was finally feeling better~

    "Hnnngh..."

    Hey! Look who was pouting now! Lunette snickered a little before letting go of him and giving his shoulder a soft pat. "Now don't you look cute all huffy and puffy." Placing her hands on her hips, her grin stayed on her face for a bit before her eyes glanced over to the city in the distance, the lights glowing up the horizon. Lunette pondered a bit, scratching her cheek in thought as her hand idly pet the robot's head. "Why don't you get fully charged, and I'll escort you to the city. Does that sound alright?" While she'd love to stay with him a bit longer in a more comfortable environment and shoot the breeze, this wasn't a very tech-friendly place, even with electricity.

    "Ms. Lunette! I found it!"
    "WE found it..."

    The cat turned as the two workers stepped out of the tavern, Boon tossing a blue stone casually up in the air. "Here, he can have this! Found it in that box 'o runes the little undead kid traded me!" The daemon walked over and placed the blue stone into Lunette's hand carefully, and she inspected it a bit. "Oh, this might work! Thank you, both of you."
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    Re: Not Quite Cutting Edge

    Post by Scaramouche on Fri Apr 14, 2017 3:59 am

    Touchy, touchy, touchy! It was almost as if Lunette was more cat than fluffy lady; which wasn't a bad thing, really! But boy did she like rubbing those mitts of hers everywhere (hyperbole). Scaramouch didn't buy her 'not a shedder' story, because all cats left little bits of themselves wherever they strolled. With exception of the hairless ones, of course. "Mhm..." But, for the sake of survival, he didn't voice his disbelief aloud.

    "Now don't you look cute all huffy and puffy."

    ...You know what, screw survival.

    "Correction, babe, I look cute all the time." Scaramouch never lied~! He may twist words around and alter facts like the best of them (read: politicians), but the robot considered himself a purveyor of truth. Cyan diodes flickered and he looked to Lunette. "...You wanna escort me?" Wow, that was, uh... really nice of her. ...Why, was the forest dangerous? Was there something lurking around that she wasn't telling him!? ...Actually, no. That was silly, because who would put a tavern out in the middle of a dark and perilous forest if they wanted patronage? Unless this was an evil tavern, and all three of its employees preyed upon hapless travelers for foul, twisted magics. Ha ha, now wouldn't that be something? Y-Yeah... Scaramouch promptly ceased feeding this train of thought. "Well, if you, uh, wanna..." he muttered. The robot wasn't going to object when a beautiful lady offered to accompany him for a walk~! Shut up, probability chip, she wasn't going to sacrifice him to Satan.

    "Ms. Lunette! I found it!"
    "WE found it..."

    Oh boy, Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dumb! He didn't need to say who was who. Scaramouch leaned forward and peered over Lunette, optics trained on the two mismatched gentleman. "Fancy seeing you again, Boon~! ...Batboy." Little cretin. The larger (and more amicable) of the two thudded over to place a stone into Lunette's hand. Huh, it didn't match anything in his database... The rock was a soft blue and it glowed, so... magical in nature? Just a guess. "What does it do...?"

    Please don't say it was 'sacrifice to Satan' time...
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    Re: Not Quite Cutting Edge

    Post by Lunette on Fri Apr 14, 2017 4:54 am

    "Correction, babe, I look cute all the time."

    "I can't argue with that~" Lunette snickered softly before nodding once more, "mmhm. It can get lonely in a new place fast, and I'd like to make sure you get there without problems." There wasn't much in the way of danger, but she was quite curious of him, and wanted to help out. The first time she left the city, she was attacked--ironically by the two who stood beside her right at the moment. Boon rest his knuckles onto his hips while Collins rolled his eyes, adjusting his goggles.

    Lunette held the stone out towards Scaramouch, a soft smile on her face, "it's a movement stone. If you squeeze it, you can teleport a few feet in any direction you want. It's not powerful enough to teleport you miles... but, I hope it could be of some use to you as it is." The stone had only a faint glow, and touching it revealed it was nearly light as air. "It could be upgraded, but... that'd take a bit of work. And neither of us are skilled in upgrading runes." Collins glanced between himself and Boon as he explained, finally resting his eyes onto the cat woman, "though you could ask Alasdair and the Guardian for assistance." "I'll talk to them about it later," she replied before turning her attention back to Scaramouch.

    "Whenever you're ready, dear, you just let me know~!" Lunette purred a little, then twirled to glance at Collins and Boon with a small smile, "would one of you be a dear and fetch his hat? It's on the bar!" Collins glanced to Boon, who took the hint and shrugged with snicker, "ya got it, boss~" The gargoyle turned his attention back to Lunette and her new 'friend' as she stood beside the robot, looking at him in a sweet manner. "Are you feeling better?"

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    Re: Not Quite Cutting Edge

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