Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0

    Back in Business, Baby!



    Posts : 352
    Join date : 2017-04-08
    Age : 32
    Location : Wherever a certain furball is!
    Level : 15

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    Health Bar:
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    Stamina Bar:
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    Back in Business, Baby!

    Post by Scaramouche on Tue Sep 26, 2017 8:15 pm

    Time: 10:30:00
    Date: 9.26.08

    This was it, babes.

    This was the his moment of 'do or die'.

    "Shoes polished, check. Pants ironed, double check. Sleeves rolled up and swagger set to maximum blast, triple-quadruple-quintuple-dupe-diddly-do-duple check, baby~!" But, in case he had missed a crucial detail, no matter how minor, it was best to be thorough. "Shoes polished, check. Pants ironed, check..." Anxiety wore him like a glove.

    All night and morning, Scaramouch had been a whirlwind of constant self-doubt and frayed circuits. Did he have everything he needed? Would his coworkers be punctual or tardy? Was he even qualified to take Lunette's position? What if something terrible happened on the job - or worse, if misfortune befell the Anitra and he wasn't there to readily assist? 1,023 wayward thoughts buzzed in his metal cranium like a swarm of furious hornets, the android at their mercy for every second he remained online. Torturous, cruel, incessant; over-thinking had always been one of his greatest assets and his strongest flaws. Even so, the constant nagging in the forefront of his hardwired mind did little to speed up the clock and whisk the robot back to her side. Time, it seemed, would always savor the luxury of bowing to no one. If only the rest of creation was as fortunate. Alas...

    Heels softly crunched against the dew-laden grass as Scaramouch approached a recognizable building off in the distance, his optics bright and peeling for a pair of silhouettes lurking within the forest line. "Boy," he muttered quietly, uncertainty lacing his synthesized voice, "those knocker-heads are sure gonna love learnin' there's been a change of hands..." Boon, maybe. Collins? No. Hell no. An artificial sigh escaped his plated throat. Oh well... No point fretting about what cannot be changed, much less the attitude of others. Sounded like good advice, right? Pretty wise, obvious... Fairly common sense. Eh, he was psyching himself out again.

    He finished his leisurely (reluctant) stroll and reached the end of today's beginning: the mossy cobbled steps of the tavern's front doorway. A black-and-red sign, slightly yellowed with age and crinkled by the elements, greeted him: closed until September 26th. Well, not anymore. Scaramouch reached and - rrrrrip! - crumpled the piece of paper into a noisy ball. "Right. That wasn't so bad; like removin' a band-aid." Nothing had exploded, everything was fine. He could do this.

    And by Jove, he was.

    Jingle, jingle, jingle~!

    After fumbling with the keys and gently ushering himself inside, the only thing greeting him was a dark... empty... silence. The very presence of it made Scaramouch hesitate. "..." What was once remembered as cheery and warm was now somber and cold; the hearth lay bereft of an inviting flame, the room was far too stuffy, and he desperately needed to dust. Ah, nothing like a handful of morning chores to start one's day and banish those pesky inner demons. First things first, the android supposed. After making his rounds throughout the bottom level and ensuring nothing was amiss or (goodness) stolen, Scaramouch felt comfortable enough to venture for some firewood. Shouldn't be a terribly difficult task; there was a sizeable pile of stumps left out to dry before work crawled to standstill. It was probably teeming with fungi and insects, ick! He stepped outside for a moment and rounded a corner, metal fingers trailing against the tavern's stony walls.

    "Hm, let's see... Firewood, firewood... Where is the - aha! Found ya." And, sure enough, there was indeed a derelict pile of chopped, splintered wood exactly where he remembered it, a pleasant aroma of damp earth tickling his olfactory sensors. It was just the touch of familiarity Scaramouch needed to smile. "Can't believe I'm happy to see a lifeless heap of dead wood!" he chuckled. Not too different from a lifeless heap of metal, but the android could enjoy such ironies later. He stepped over a few desiccated twigs and started gathering a decent-sized offering for the tavern's fireplace.

    One log, two log, three log, four - crunch, crunch - log...?


    "I see you came alone."

    "Yeah, and without Miss Lunette."

    "...Did I ask for an echo?"

    "Nope, but ya got one anyway, so deal."

    Sigh. It begins...

    The fledgling smile on the robot's face barely had enough time to develop before it withered, replaced by a gentle frown. Scaramouch hefted up his armful of firewood and faced the demonic pair; his coworkers. "Boon," he tipped his head at the larger hired muscle and then to the smaller, much grouchier winged servant beside him, "Collins. Glad to see you both weren't eaten by wolves... alive."

    The gargoyle hardly reacted, as typical. "Mm. Yes, wolves," he repeated dryly. Pale eyes flickered beneath his goggles and took note of the android's menial labor. "The fireplace needs lighting, the building needs to be aired, and there's an unhealthy amount of dust that requires exhaustive wiping. But I'm sure you already knew this, didn't you?" Ugh... If there was ever a fellow the android badly wanted to smack with a fetid mop, it was Collins. Something about the gargoyle's air of hauteur rubbed Scaramouch the wrong way.

    Boon appeared content to say nothing and quietly stare, his pointed tail lazily flicking about.

    Well, it was now or never...

    "You'd be correct," Scaramouch evenly replied. He hefted his workload and took a step around the two goons, heading back toward the front entrance. "I already scanned the place by the time it took the both of ya to yet again ambush me. Hint, hint: it only worked the first time." Why yes, there was a hint of sourness in his voice. "Are you babes ready to get this show on the road, or are ya gonna stay outside and creep?" As much as Scaramouch would've preferred the latter, it was ultimately against his better interests if his coworkers left him holding all the bags.

    The two demons glanced at one another and followed close behind, single-file and without a peep until all three entered the establishment. "You didn't answer my question." The gargoyle effortlessly laced his voice with vague annoyance. "Where is Lunette, and why isn't she here?"

    Meaty knuckles cracked loudly and echoed through the emptiness. "Better answer his question, bud."

    Anxiety... rising...

    Scaramouch could only scoff at his coworkers' uncouth display of intimidation. Really? Was he now some patsy that needed to be drilled for information? The android shook his head and finished carefully stocking the hearth with firewood, reaching for a nearby box of matches. "She's fine," he grumbled. With a crisp - sssshtk! - and a flick of his wrist, the fireplace roared to life with a bright, crackling glow. Ahhh, much better... The cold never treated his servos well. Now then, time to drop a delightfully-prepared bomb right on Collins' face. Optics zoomed and whirred to capture a perfect recording of his coworkers' pending reactions. "Lu's still not feelin' up to returnin' - not yet - so that leaves me in charge of you murderous oafs. And no, before ya ask, I don't know how long this is gonna be."



    "...Wait, what?"


    Visible confusion and disinterest that curdled like spoiled milk; yes sir, these were the reactions Scaramouch had hoped for. "You heard me~! We're under new management," he reiterated with a mischievous grin, emboldened by his new 'rank'. Eat royal shit, babes! "Lu's currently out and I'm in, ya dig? So let's chop, chop, chop~!" Metal hands clapped and rang. "I expect all of us to get along like a church campfire group; you respect me and I'll respect you. No funny business. Just 'cause Lu ain't around doesn't mean ya get to have your way with a few liberties. All previous rules apply, so don't test the waters or you'll both be ditched in the forest without all your fancy, schmancy gear - triple the distance you were marooned last time, capisce?" Now that, Collins didn't like. Or, for that matter, Boon.

    The gargoyle's stone lip curled into a petite sneer, the claws of his wings sinking deeper into his vest's fine cloth. "Duly noted, boss." Ooh, that must have stung~! Scaramouch was going to replay this over and over throughout the day, Collins' submission like the finest of ambrosia. It was downright euphoric. A robot now in charge of two very powerful sentient beings? It was more amazing than it sounds - almost taboo~! "If that is her wish, then we will comply."

    Damn straight he will, the little goblin.

    Optics expectantly looked to Boon, the purple demon trying his hardest not to think harder than the gerbils in his head could manage. "Uh... s-sure!" he answered clumsily, nodding along. "Miss Lulu's the boss, and... uh, I guess you too, ha! So... what's yer first command?"

    "Ugh, please don't call it that... Now he's going to have an inflated sense of self-worth."

    "Oh Collins, fer cryin' out loud, it ain't gonna be that bad. Livin' up a lil'! I reckon ol' Scaramouch ain't the worst we've had'ta endure."

    "I'd rather drown, thanks."

    Beautiful. Simply beautiful. Scaramouch could hardly believe the choir of angels singing praise in his audio receptors! "Aw, don't be such a big pissy baby," he cooed sweetly to the bitter hunk of animated rock. "You're all wet, babe~! Be more like Boon: he's got the right idea."


    Boon's face split with a wide, beaming grin. Too bad it was short-lived. "Yeah, the right ide - hey! Now what's that supposed'ta mean, huh?"

    Oh boy...

    "Ladies, ladies~!" The android stepped in-between his coworkers and tightly wrapped his arms around them, pulling the pair closer. "Let's not focus on throwin' shade, hm~? Boon, I need ya to kindly fire up the grill and get it warm for the brunch crowd. You and I are gonna be mannin' the kitchen until Lu feels better enough to work!"

    The muscular demon snapped a salute, his tail quirking. "Ya got it, boss. It'll be amazin' ta cook steaks again!" How precious. Now for the other one.

    A quiet puff left Collins' nostrils - his equivalent of a sigh. "...And what will you have me be doing, boss?"

    Mm~! That'll never get old. The growing smile on the robot's face said as much. "And I'll be needin' yoooou to help me dust and air this place out, babe~! C'mon, let's set up the tables. We got lots of work to do~!"

    "Why do you keep calling us that?"

    "Because, babe~!"

    "Sigh... of course."


    Posts : 352
    Join date : 2017-04-08
    Age : 32
    Location : Wherever a certain furball is!
    Level : 15

    Character Sheet
    Defense Bar:
    20/20  (20/20)
    Health Bar:
    200/200  (200/200)
    Stamina Bar:
    30/30  (30/30)

    Re: Back in Business, Baby!

    Post by Scaramouche on Tue Sep 26, 2017 10:06 pm

    Time: 15:45:00
    Date: 9.26.08

    Oh god, why wasn't the clock moving any fasteeeeeeeer...

    Cook, serve, cook, serve, wash dishes, make a few drinks, wipe the tables, cook, serve, stoke the fire, schmooze, tell the boys to go on break, cook, serve, tally up their remaining stock for the day, cook, serve, cook, serve...

    The hellish aforementioned list was all Scaramouch feverishly did from the very moment their first customer walked through the door; if he wasn't in the kitchen fixing up plates or washing them clean, he was either serving guests with a cheerful grin or bussing tables. Seldom did he ever, ever take a break in-between. But, then again, he was a robot, no? Taking a break would've been illogical. "Gadzooks, it's no wonder Lu has concerns about returnin'!" the android panted, wiping his metal brow. Though he appreciated all of Lunette's hard work before, now Scaramouch really empathized the Anitra's growing fatigue with schlepping plate after plate after plate with seemingly no end. He flipped a few pieces of raw chicken breast onto a heated pan and let them brown with a delectable sizzle, flamboyantly throwing a mouthwatering medley of spices and sea salt in his usual flourish. "After this," he muttered to himself, "things have got to change. No way should one person be doin' all this work - even if they're a robot!"

    "Hm? Ya talkin' 'bout all the work Miss Lulu does, Mochi?"

    "Sure am, Boon, baby. Suuuuure am..."

    Metal utensils clattered and snapped as both employees slaved over their cooking, Boon with his juicy steaks and the android with everything else. For some reason beyond Scaramouch's comprehension, the demon was quite possessive over the grill. "Shucks, ya gotta give her more credit," Book grinned, prodding a piece of sirloin. Hm, not a lovely medium rare - not yet. "She's an Anitra, y'know. We're tough folk! Tough, sturdy, got a fightin' spirit... Not at all like them 'hyoomans', ha ha!"

    Scaramouch could only halfheartedly grumble, "Ch'yeah... and don't forget stubborn." Lunette, Lunette, Lunette... After a few moments of staring downward, listless, the robot let out a sigh. "I can't believe she's been doin' this gig for as long as she has. I mean, c'mon, Boon, baby! Am I wrong in sayin' that this ain't the life for someone who wants to go out and see the world? To discover new and excitin' things? Hell, to actually live life? Ugh... it's like workin' at a factory assembly line." Oops, was that the striking aroma of chicken sliiiiightly burning? Eh... just a lil' bit. Scaramouch sighed yet again and grabbed a nearby spatula, flipping every piece of chicken onto their respective plates in a perfect, well-timed sequence.

    Plop, plop, plop!


    "Hm... well, ya ain't wrong, I reckon," Boon spoke up, pausing only to rub his fuzzy chin. "Repetition and monotony are purdy good mind-killers, but ya also gotta figure it this way: Miss Lulu's been doin' this for years - ever since she was a young gal! If there's one thing she's good at - anythin' at all - it's how ta make folks smile and serve 'em a good, hearty meal."

    "Which is part of the problem," Scaramouch dully countered. He sprinkled on a generous handful of mixed greens, each leafy frond glistening with their homemade salad dressing, and passively handed one of the plates to Boon. "Sure, it's what she's good at, but it's not what Lu's great at, y'know? Like, she could be doin' more - a lot more. It's sad seein' her cooped up in here, wastin' away... wearin' herself down..." God, it was depressing even for him, and this was just his first day filling the Anitra's shoes! "I want more for her..." the robot murmured unhappily. The whole situation made his power supply ache. "Lulu deserves to forge her own path - to follow her own wants and needs. This, all of this... - " Scaramouch gestured weakly to everything around them " - ...is just the dream of her father... It's not fair. It's not right."

    The purple demon found himself nodding quietly along, stopping in his diligent work to put a steak on whatever plate his boss slid his way. "No... No, I reckon it ain't fair, or right," he echoed softly. "But ya also gotta think of it this way, see? Miss Lulu's part demon; like me, she's got vices. Not as dogged as mine, of course, but they're there," he enjoyed a deep, throaty chuckle. "I know it's not the work she used to love - or the kind ya want for her - but ya gotta keep her workin'. Ya gotta, Mochi, 'cause them vices... boy, 'cause them vices'll tear her apart. Mark my words, mhm. They'll tear her apart."

    How... ominous.

    Ominous, but true. The android's spirits sunk lower and lower. "Yeah... I guess you're right on the trolley, Boon. She's already showin' signs of unrest and lethargy by not keepin' herself occupied. I just don't know what else to suggest for her, though! Like, I want her to find a passion or somethin' she at least likes, but she doesn't know where to look! It's maddening - maddening! - I tell ya. ...Does bein' a demon really impede her like this?"


    "Um, like, slow her down."

    "Oh! You and yer fancy words... And yeah, it can, Mochi. It's why a lot of folks didn't seek fulfillin' relations with our kind back home. Too much risk, not enough reward. Though, it technically depended on the demon..."

    The charring of steak did little to detract Scaramouch's thoughts or the worsening gloom draping itself over his droopy shoulders. "I'm gonna... go catch my break now, if ya don't mind," he told his coworker, killing the stove's flames. "Mind havin' Collins take these plates out for me? They're all set."

    Boon simply nodded. "Sure, bud! I'll have Collins get on that in two shakes of a horse's tail."

    "Hon... Thanks, babe. I'll be back in thirty."

    "Enjoy yerself out there! Fresh air's nice today."

    Yeah, nice...

    Heels briskly clicked against tile and the robot fled the kitchen as fast as his legs could take him. Away from the stove, away from the continuous, nauseating smell of food, away from captivity. The moment sunlight bounced off his metal cheeks and filled his frame with a soothing warmth, Scaramouch leaped into the nearest pile of autumn leaves without a worry or care. Fwoosh! "Ugh! Finally..." He groaned and looked off to his side, optics blinking wearily. Immediately, his thoughts turned to the Anitra. "Poor Lu... I hope she's doin' okay..." Was she worried? Was she uneasy? Was she melancholic? She must've been all alone wherever she was, bored out of her gorgonzola. Just the mere notion of Lunette being holed up somewhere, limp and doleful, wedged a deep lingering ache in the robot's metal frame. "Mrrr... poor mi vefo," he sighed into the leaves gently, "I wish I could give ya all the magic answers and take the pain away. I really do..." Scaramouch wished he could do many things; but, most all, he wished nothing more than to make Lunette happy. Hm... perhaps he could, in a way?

    Tiny motors whirred as his optics refocused, their reflective lenses glimmering behind his LED display. The robot might not be a miracle worker, no - but he was ever the romantic. Smiling faintly to himself, a flutter of electricity surged through his circuitry as Scaramouch thought of something - just for her. It wasn't much, he thought, but hopefully it would get Lunette to smile even for a second. That was worth something, right?

    Cli-clik! Cli-clik!

    Text Message:

    Hey, Lu~!

    Just lettin' ya know that I'm thinkin' about ya. It's been awfully borin' here at the tavern, but the boys and I are workin' our butts off and bringin' home the bacon! Anyway, I'm on my break and decided to share a lil' slice of life with ya. These colors are just gorgeous, babe, just like yooou~! Shouldn't be much longer until we close up for the night. But until then, know that I'm thinkin' about ya every second - that's sixty seconds times sixty minutes times the eight hours we've been apart, for a whoppin' total of 32,400 seconds! And not a single one compares to the real deal~.

    Love ya lots, Lu! Be strong, 'kay? We'll be together before ya even know it.


    Your handsome metal dingle

      Current date/time is Sat Feb 23, 2019 9:30 am