Portal Breach: The Collision of Worlds :: v.4.0


    So Much For Lunch Break

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    Shaiamils
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    So Much For Lunch Break

    Post by Shaiamils on Tue May 01, 2018 1:05 pm

    DATE: MAY 1ST, 2018
    TIME: LUNCH TIME


    At the same time just about every day Shaiamils went to work, this was around the time where he would take a break to get a bite to eat. The doctor had other things on his mind, though. This was probably going to be his only chance all day to talk to SALLI, lunch break be damned. Of course, he wasn't exactly looking forward to this, but it had to be done. The topic of discussion at hand that the reason that he probably didn't deserve to eat today.

    For the past couple of weeks, the robotic doctor had been distant and quiet, but very obviously watching him. This was for good reason, too. Not long ago, he had royally botched a job and just made an excuse to leave when things got awkward. The emotions were just too much for him to handle, but that was no excuse. It left SALLI having to deal with almost the entire thing herself.

    The silence had to be broken sooner or later, and even though the avian was dreading how it might turn out, there was no avoiding it anymore. It was finally time to acknowledge that colossal elephant in the room, no matter how the conversation would actually end up going. If this awkward silence and avoidance went on for too much longer, he wouldn't be able to take it, and he worried that SALLI might not be able to either.

    "SALLI?" he asked. "Mind if I speak with you for a moment?"
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    Dr. SALLI
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    Re: So Much For Lunch Break

    Post by Dr. SALLI on Tue May 01, 2018 3:55 pm

    Half a month had gone by, without many words exchanged between the two doctors. A brief hello, a farewell at the end of the day. Otherwise, Dr. SALLI kept her distance from the bird man. Her optics were on him from the time he was on the clock to when he punched out to leave. She loomed nearby, assisted where she had to, and double-checked his paperwork. Smoothing out potential wrinkles, attempting to perhaps find her own answers. The man certainly hadn't given her any. There had been no acknowledgement of what had happened that night. Shai had become more anxious of late, definitely guilty and ashamed. He was quite lucky not to have been fired. Only a good record up to this point stayed her hand, and even then she was unsure. What caused this reaction? Why did Shai act so neglectful?

    Why did he abandon her?

    Dr. SALLI had no answers, no idea what could have made her fellow doctor act in such a way. Going home like that was inexcusable. Impossible. No matter how beat down, ragged, and stressed Dr. SALLI had ever gotten, she was compelled to do her job no matter the cost. It was all part of being a doctor, wasn't it? Why else would she be programmed that way? Why else would that be part of her function? For the job. For her patients. ...Was Shai the only one like this, or were her staff members always capable of this sort of negligence and she just didn't realize? With no other answers to turn to, Dr. SALLI spent lunch break on May first sorting through all of the medical records the hospital had on file.

    "SALLI? Mind if I speak with you for a moment?"

    Blue optics peered over the edges of the manila folder. Dr. SALLI had been in the middle of rereading one of Wind Waker Link's visits when the very source of her thoughts had come peeping his head in through her doorway. Much like she had been throughout all of this time, the gynoid regarded him stoically. Folding the paperwork with naught but a brief shuffle of paper, she set it down upon her desk. "What is on your mind, Dr. Shaiamils?" Her tone was clipped, neither suspicion nor friendliness readily apparent in her voice.
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    Re: So Much For Lunch Break

    Post by Shaiamils on Tue May 01, 2018 5:18 pm

    The feathery alien sighed, taking what little time he had to at least make an attempt to mentally prepare himself. SALLI doesn't hate you, he told himself, she's just disappointed in you. But then again, was telling himself that she didn't hate him just a potentially incorrect assumption? And was her being disappointed in you really any better?

    ...

    You see here, this is your problem, at the very least a BIG part of it. You treat failure like it's the end of the damn world. You aim to people please as a means to possibly avoid these things, but you don't know how to handle it when it DOES happen. The only solution you turn to when faced with these feelings is to run, because you're afraid of your own feelings. Do you not realize how horrible that is?

    Yes, you screwed things up, but SALLI was counting on you to help her! You could have easily waited until everything was taken care before having this breakdown but noooo, you just HAD to pick the cowardly way out. Do you not realize how that makes you LOOK? There are people out there who depend on you, and THIS is what you do???

    "Look, I wanted to talk about what happened a couple of weeks ago," he finally began, having enough of his self-pitying internal monologue. "I still don't think I fully understand why I acted the way I did, but that's no excuse. Deep down, I knew that running away wasn't the answer to the problem, so why did I do it? I don't know, but that doesn't change the fact that it happened, and it shouldn't have happened. I wanted to apologize for my negligence, and my cowardice. I only thought about myself, and that's inexcusable."
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    Re: So Much For Lunch Break

    Post by Dr. SALLI on Wed May 02, 2018 10:55 am

    "I only thought about myself, and that's inexcusable."

    Indeed. Dr. SALLI's arms folded upon the desk, resting one hand over the other as she absorbed his words. Unlike that night, there were no inconsistencies in what Shaiamils had to say. Unfortunately, there were no answers either. Somehow, it seemed that he had no answers for it either. Which was...so very strange to her. How could he do something and not understand why? How could a doctor just go home without making sure everything was fine? How could Shaiamils just run away and leave her behind? Could it really be just because he was an organic creature? Ruled by emotion and acting illogically? SALLI knew and understood this about organics, she'd treated many patients who had gotten their injuries through illogical and irrational means, after all. But she'd expected more from her staff.

    Sighing softly, Dr. SALLI stared back at her fellow doctor. "Your apology is appreciated, Dr. Shaiamils. However, it concerns me that even you do not know why you were so negligent. As a doctor, you need to do what is best for your patients. By running away, you only did what was best for yourself. What if another disaster strikes and we have many patients to treat at once? What if a brawl breaks out and there are many people who need your attention? Will you allow somebody to die? Will you become overwhelmed, and leave again?" One of her hands clenched at the thought.

    "I have been...trying my best to think about the best solution. Trying to find answers for why you did that." Trying to deduce if every member on the staff was capable of that cowardly behavior. "The best apology is changed behavior, Dr. Shaiamils. And all I ask of you is that you do your best to help the people who are brought here. You have been stressed since that night, and I do not want your work to suffer. So I turn this over to you, Shaiamils. What will you do to curb this behavior? What will you do to make sure you do not do this again?" His answer would be a very crucial deciding factor.
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    Re: So Much For Lunch Break

    Post by Shaiamils on Wed May 02, 2018 12:26 pm

    "Well," the avian thought for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to put this, "I've been doing some research at home ever since that night, and I've discovered that my problem might lie in something beyond our field of specialty. I've decided that it might be time for me to see a psychiatrist and a therapist. I think, in the back of my mind, I've always wondered if I might have an undiagnosed mental disorder, but I didn't really know if human disorders could ever apply to a non-human such as myself. Now I'm starting to see that it might very well be the case with me. I mean, my brain is just as developed as a human's, after all. Why not?"

    He scratched awkwardly behind his head.

    "Who knows? Maybe I could have very well needed medication this whole time? And as for a therapist, I'm sure it would be beneficial to me to have someone to talk to about my problems. I really am starting to wonder if they're rooted in something deeper than I never thought of before, and it really does need to be addressed. Would you agree that this is a good course of action for me?"

    The doctor anxiously awaited her answer.
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    Re: So Much For Lunch Break

    Post by Dr. SALLI on Wed May 02, 2018 1:17 pm

    "I've decided that it might be time for me to see a psychiatrist and a therapist."

    Dr. SALLI jerked lightly in her chair, blinking at Shaiamils. Well that was quite the turn. However, it would explain the irrationality of his decisions that night. But if this was something that had always been a part of him, how had it never been a problem before now? What other things had happened to lead Shaiamils to wonder if he'd had a disorder? "This is something I would have liked to have known when you first applied to work here." She spoke up sternly. From the sounds of it, he wasn't exactly diagnosed yet. He didn't necessarily know he had a disorder...but he did have an inkling. "Psychology is not my specialty, however, I think it is possible. Even though you aren't human, you still could have a disorder of some kind, whether it'd be known by a human name or that of some other species."

    The possibility of medication, and a therapist. Shaiamils had at least considered methods to stop this behavior in the future, and how to address it. But now that they both were aware that this could be a mental illness... Some of the edge had left her optics, though there was still some fatigue on her face. "I do think that would be a good course of action. And I hope you are able to get the help you need. I think...that it would be best if you took administrative leave during this time. You will still be paid, but if this problem is that bad? I'm not sure if it'd be safe, for you or the patients, to continue allowing you to work until you have found whatever medication you may need and are fit to return to work. This is not a punishment. Please do not view it as one."
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    Re: So Much For Lunch Break

    Post by Shaiamils on Wed May 02, 2018 3:54 pm

    "Oh no, it's alright," Shaiamils assured his fellow doctor. "I don't view that as a punishment at all. It'll give me time to get everything straightened out in regards to future appointments on my end. And, let's be honest, I could probably use the break. I've not been myself lately, and I can tell that it's really showing. There's no need or good in subjecting our patients to the blunt of my problems either."

    The avian doctor let out a sigh of relief. This went WAY better than he had been expecting it to!

    "Thank you very much. I really do appreciate this," he expressed his gratitude. "I assume this leave will begin once I've finished up today?"
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    Re: So Much For Lunch Break

    Post by Dr. SALLI on Wed May 02, 2018 6:01 pm

    Well, at least Shaiamils was responsible enough to understand the decision. Dr. SALLI had been concerned about the possibility of him resisting the idea of a leave. It was best for him to stop now before another incident could possibly occur. Perhaps, given this time to talk and reflect with a therapist, Shaiamils could be back to peak performance. There was...still no answer for this situation, but SALLI's mind did find some relief in knowing that there were going to be steps taken to help Shaiamils with whatever disorder he may have. Already, she was thinking up her own plans for the future. She was going to make sure every current and future staff member was given an appointment with a psychologist to make sure no other disorders were hidden among staff. Perhaps tests in the future to determine a potential hire's actions under stress would help as well. Trust in Shaiamils was going to be a bit harder to fix, as that wasn't something a leave could help. All the doctor wanted was for him to no longer be a liability to the safety of the patients.

    "Yes, I believe that would be fair." Assuming there would be no further incidents in the time left in Shaiamils' shift, he should be fine to finish the rest of his shift. "Is that all you wanted to talk about, Shaiamils?"
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    Re: So Much For Lunch Break

    Post by Shaiamils on Sat May 05, 2018 4:23 am

    "That's all I had to say, yes," Shaiamils confirmed. "I really am glad that we got the chance to have this conversation, so thanks again. I do have a few more questions, though: How long do you want me to take leave? Is it indefinite? Will you contact me when you're ready to come back?"

    Once the feathery alien had his own confirmation, he nodded at his fellow doctor in response. This wasn't going to be so bad after all. Sure, he still had to live with what he did, betraying SALLI'S trust in the process, but at least he wasn't getting fired. At least that was a good thing.

    "That's all I needed to know, thank you."

    As he was almost out of the doorway, Shaiamils looked back one last time.

    "And again, I'm greatly sorry for everything that happened."
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    Re: So Much For Lunch Break

    Post by Dr. SALLI on Sat May 05, 2018 7:33 pm

    "That's all I had to say, yes,"

    A nod. This statement was followed up by a few questions regarding his leave. Logical, though a bit at odds with how he just said he had nothing else to say. Dr. SALLI considered her options, a finger tipping the desk thoughtfully. "Indefinite, for now. I'll have a better idea when you have received a diagnosis." It would help to know what was wrong with Shaiamils, and how to prevent further problems. "I think...that when you come back, it should be when we are both ready. When you feel you are able to handle the pressures and when I feel I can trust you. You can contact me when you feel ready. I...will have to think until then." It was hard for her to say, but it was the truth. No use pretending like this would be easy. It certainly wouldn't be impossible! But...it'd be hard. For the both of them.

    "And again, I'm greatly sorry for everything that happened."

    Dr. SALLI looked back at the bird man, who was nearly in the hall. This apology was more personal than the first. If he was sorry for everything, that included how he had left her alone. But the apology still lingered high above the robot, like a twinkling star in the night sky. It was lovely to think about, but it wasn't for her. She didn't deserve it. The patients did. "Be sure to apologize to Curiosity." What had happened to Dr. SALLI was inconsequential when compared to the negligence the winged creature had suffered.

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    Re: So Much For Lunch Break

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